Been away from LJ for a while. Busy busy busy, plus almost have a couple thousand friends on that 'other' social network.
Here's a little joke I heard, to break the ice. :-)
Joe Bob went into town, and paid a visit to his old family doctor.
"Doc, Mabel and I have twenty-three kids now, and that's plenty. I need one of them vaso-thingies. Get fixed, you know?"
"You mean a vasectomy. Yes, that is a common procedure. You don't have medical insurance from your moonshining business, by any chance?"
Hearing of the cost, Joe Bob objects.
"There is an alternative procedure, a do-it-yourself hillbilly
vasectomy," says the doctor.
"Doc, I'm all for it! What do I do?"
"Go home and get out your fireworks stash. Put an M80 [a huge
firecracker] into a beer can and hold it up to your ear. Then count to ten."
"Really, doc? That's it? But how does . . . "
"Just trust me on this one."
So Joe Bob jumps in his trusty, rusty pickup truck and heads home to the holler. He finds an M80, grabs an empty beer can from the front porch, and proceeds to light the fuse.
With the loaded beer can to his ear, he counts.
"One, two, three, four, five . . . " on his fingers.
Then, with a puzzled expression, he stops. Sticks the beer can between his legs, and with the other hand, resumes.
"Six, seven, eight, nine, ten."
BOOM! The procedure is done.